A Call back of a Magic

A city of dreams, a city with full of people, always in the world you will find some or the other around you unless you are alone..ha ha ha jokes apart, the builder of the world never thought who to place where and when he/she just started and went on and on and on. So, following this rule the biggest creation on earth never builds a city with some personal intention. It just comes on and on and on.

Ahmedabad to Ahmedabad

"wake up dear wake up"

"yess mom"

"will you now??"

"yess mom"

"c'mon beta"

"mom please some more time"

"2 min please I have to leave"

"by the way what's the time mom???"

"8:30 am"

"what the f......?????"

Mommmm please help me am late..

Mom:-as usual..yess dear..

8:34 am and by now the city bus would have arrived...mommmmmm please qucikly....

mom:--yess my son...

8:40 am and by now all the seats would have been occupied...mommmm am leaving..

mom:-bye beta..take care..go safely..

"yess mom bye"

God please please please please help me today from tomorrow no more of watching porn sites and wasting time..

ohh God bus all seats are occupied and 1 hrs 30 min of journey fckk would be so tired.

A beautiful gal dressed up in the an executive attire was staring and it all started then.......

10 years later......

somewhere in pakistan

Ahmedabad, a first look with the city was calm..With lush green trees all around the house.Nothing as such to roam and talk much about as the place was least populated in the country. First look love type it was and here it was with the city..ha ha ha....

A one fine morning a voice was echoing in mind..karan karan karan....and it was her from behind...

back to the present

somewhere in india

She was staring and was having a close look at the legs..Ignoring all this, the legs started running and she started running as well and crashed together at the bus as there was only one seat to deal with...POOJA..the gal from the next road would usually come in the bus no.34/3. POOJA, a beautiful gal, full of ambitions and goals and hard worker , as would do anything to achieve them..How come I know her??? ohhh...C'mon she is my WIFE...............................

10 years later

somewhere in pakistan

Pooja...oo ghosh phewww you scared me..where in the world where you was searching for you since 2 long hours.O'com love had gone to the market to buy the things.

"Thank god now you are home let's get back to the work as soon as possible else...you know the rest of the thing..."

"yess I know let's get back to it quickly"

back to present

somewhere in india

Vow vow vow this are the first words that actually comes to anyone's mind after looking at her. Thank god she noticed me at the bus-stop, thank god we fought for the final seat of the bus, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha...cut it down..and the battle for the seat continued. Respecting woman's is a good habit and allowed her to settle on the seat comfortably, with a cruel but kind intention of making her new girlfriend. In fact we exchanged the formalities with each other and the making of a deep thriller love started..number's exchange..addresses exchange..parties..late night talks..rest you all can understand.....

One fine morning mobile rang brmmmm brmmmm..and it was her...

"good morning love you awake??"

"yess pooo..morning wassupp??"

"I need to say you something"

"what it is??"

"I kinda want to tell this very early"

"yeah c'mon say what it is??"

"I wanted to tell this thing as soon as possible"

"baby say it"

"Stupid, idiot , donkey don't you understand now??"

"I love you pooja"

"this is what i wanted//love you too karan"

"whoopss mom did you hear any thing???"

"no what i didnot hear that you love pooja"

"mommmmmm......"

"bring her home somedayyy"

"sure mom why not today???"

pom pom pom pom pom pommm popopom

"it all ended in a marriage...."

It was all going good....pooja's parents were living somewhere in USA...she was also about to leave probably next year, but she won't...all were very happy..

........................................................................................................................................
>...........................................
>.................................
>.............................to be continued......          


                                                                             Samip Shah

How to Download Videos from facebook

Most facebook users would feel that videos they have just seen cannot be downloaded, but they are wrong...Most of the facebook
 users want to watch a video more than once and they keep on searching the history list, search in someone's profile, save the link and are many more tricks....But you can download the videos from facebook but there is a condition..
condition:-the video settings must be such that all users on facebook can view the video..

if this is done than the video can be downloaded in three easy steps

step1:-Open this site  <  http://www.facebookvideodown.com/   > in a new window..in this window you will be able to view enter the video link...


step2:- copy the url of the video which you want to download..and paste it in the window you opened in step1

in the above image the url for the video is :-

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=2353694166623


step3:-   
         for mozilla firefox users

click on the download tab and you are done...

          for google chrome users

right click on the download tab and  click on "save link as" and you are done


whoopieeee....njoy your favorite video as many time as you want...

cheerrsss!!!!!!!!!

                                                                 sAMip sHAh

Facebook Chat Problem FIXED

  Mr.Mark Zuckerberg presently would be receiving so many abusive words daily, coz of his new updated facebook chat. Being the youngest billionaire and in a quest to gain more and more users for his social world, he has ruined his most favourite attribute of the website. It may not be his fault but the first name that comes behind facebook is Mark Zuckerberg..

PREVIEW OF OLD CHAT

PREVIEW OF UPDATED CHAT

The preview of previous chat shown on the left is old one when the facebook had the most beautiful  attribute of making groups of your own and getting offline and online for particular groups. The previous chat had the privilege of getting offline for a particular person or a group.The chat were supposed to show list of all the friends online, be it 1 or 10 or 100..

The new chat has no significance of the groups facility. The number friends that are online is not shown, the friends that you recently had conversation with are active and the chat window doesn't go down and stays as it is...

So, for the user having the friends on the higher side in his friends list is facing a major problem here.The maximum number of friends that can be seen on the homepage is 19-20..and this number includes the friends that are online and offline both..and the friend who is online and wants to talk with you cannot with the HELP of this NEW CHAT FACILITY..




I have a trick, you can't say a trick as everyone using the facebook would be knowing it..In the previous versions of chat there was a option of "POP-OUT CHAT" it is the same thing you will have to use here..


for the google chrome users


Step 1:-
Log in into your facebook account.

Step 2:-
open the following url in a new tab
http://www.facebook.com/presence/popout.php


Step 3:-
Click on the star and bookmark this page
Step 4:- 

Go to settings>tools> always show bookmarks bar
                           or else
ctrl + shift +B

and you are done

for the firefox users

Step 1:-

Log in into your facebook account.

Step 2:-
open the following url in a new tab

http://www.facebook.com/presence/popout.php

Step 3:-
Click on the star and bookmark this page
Step 4:- 

Here when you hit on the star there is an option of changing the bookmark location..so change the second option from BOOKMARKS MENU to BOOKMARKS TOOLBAR...

Step 5:-

Right click on the title bar and click on BOOKMARKS TOOLBAR only if there isn't any tickmark in front of BOOKMARKS TOOLBAR

and you are done

njoyyyyy

                                                                Samip Shah 

Tum ho toh,Rock on-Guitar Chords

For the intial tabs for the song use the following pattern for the chords..

C=C(5-4-2-3-4)

Dm=Dm(5-4-2-3-4)

G=G(5-4-2-3-4)

This is how it goes

Tum Ho (C<5-4-2-3-4>)Toh… Gaata Hai (C<5-4-2-3-4>)Dil,

Tum Na(Dm<5-4-2-3-4>)hi… Toh Geet Ka(G<5-4-2-3-4>)ha…

Tum Ho (C<5-4-2-3-4>)Toh… Hai Sab Haa(C<5-4-2-3-4>)sil,

Tum Na(Dm<5-4-2-3-4>)hi… Toh Kya Hai Ya(G<5-4-2-3-4>)ha…

OR ELSE
can be played like this also with strumming

Tum Ho (C)Toh… Gaata Hai (C)Dil,

Tum Na(Dm)hi… Toh Geet Ka(G)ha…

Tum Ho (C)Toh… Hai Sab Haa(C)sil,

Tum Na(Dm)hi… Toh Kya Hai Ya(G)ha…

THE REST IS THE SAME........

(Bb)Tum Ho Toh (Am)Hai,

Sap(Bm)no Ke Jaisa Ha(Em)sin

(F)Ek Sa(C)maa…

Jo (G)Tum Ho Toh, Yeh (E)Lagta Hai,

Ke (Am)Mil Gayi, (F)Har Khushi…

Jo (G)Tum Na Ho, Yeh (E)Lagta Hai,

Ke (Am)Har Khushi, Me (F)Hai Kami…

(G)Tum Ko Hai Maanga(G)ti…

Ye Jinda(C)giiii (Am) iiiii (F) iiii…(C)

(Gm)Woh ho… (A#)Woh ho… (C)Woh ho ho… ho ho…

Tum Ho (C)Toh… Raahein Bhi (C)Hai,

Tum Na(Dm)hi… Toh Raste Ka(G)ha…

Tum Ho (C)Toh… Yahaan Sab Hi (C)Hai,

Tum Na(Dm)hi.. Toh Kaun Ya(G)haa…

(Bb)Tum Ho Toh (Am)Hai,

Har (Bm)Ek Pal Meher(Em)ban

(F)Ye Ja(C)haaa…

Jo (G)Tum Ho Toh, Ha(E)wa Mein Bhi…

Mo(Am)habbato… Ka (F)Rang Hai

Jo (G)Tum Na Ho, Toh (E)Phir Koyi…

Na (Am)Josh Na… U(F)mang Hai…

(G)Tum Mile Toh Mi(G)li

Yeh Jinda(C)giiii (Am) iiiii (F) iiii… (C)

(Gm)Woh ho… (A#)Woh ho… (C)Woh ho ho… ho ho… x2

njoyy..

Tune Mujhe Pehchaana Nahin-Raju Chacha Guitar Chords

Am Asus Am

|-----------------------------------------------|

|-1---------------------3------------------1----|

|-2---------------------2------------------2----|

|-2---------------------2------------------2----|

|-----------------------------------------------|

|-----------------------------------------------|

Hmmm....... Hmmm.....

Am D Am D

|-----------------------------------------------|

|-----------------------------------------------|

|---4-5--7---4----------------------------------|

|-7--------------5---7--------------------------|

|------------------7----------------------------|

|-----------------------------------------------|

Tu may Mujay Pahchana Nahi

Am E

Jana Main Koi Anjana Nahi

G F

Ashiq Hon Main Tere Naam Ka

C D

Dewana Hoon Main Dewaana Nahi

E7 E

Hmmm.... Hmmm..... Hmm... Hmm Hm...

Am D Am D F G Am

|-----------------------------------------------|

|-----------------------------------------------|

|---4-5--7---4----------------------------------|

|-7--------------5---7--------------------------|

|------------------7----------------------------|

|-----------------------------------------------|

Naam Badal Kay Tu Kahti Hay

Am G#

Tu Woh Nahi Hay Koi Aur Hay

Am G#

Tu Nay Dhi Thi Yah Angothi

G D

Yah Kahti Hay Tu hay Jothi

F E7 E

Hmmm.... Hmmm..... Hmm... Hmm Hm...

Am D Am D F G Am

Pehli Baar Mohabbat Ki hai-Kamineyy Guitar Chords

MUKHDA 1

[ (C)Thode...bheege bheege se thode nam hai... (Dm)hum  

 (C)Kal se... soye-woye bhi to kam hai (Dm)hum ] x 2

(Am)Dil ne kaisi harkat (Em)ki hai

[ Pehli (F)baaaar mohabbat (G)ki hai...

Aakhri (Dm)baar mohabbat (Am)ki hai ] x2

MUKHDA 2

(C)Aankhen…doobi-doobi si surmayi, ma(Dm)dham…  

(C)Jheele… pani-pani hai bas, tum aur (Dm)hum

Hmmm.. (Am)baat badi hairat (Em)ki hai
[ Pehli (F)baaaar mohabbat (G)ki hai...  

Aakhri (Dm)baar mohabbat (Am)ki hai ] x2

ANTRA

(Am)Khwaab ke bojh se… (Em)kap-kapati hui..
(F)Halki palke teri… (Em)yaad aata hai sab
Tujhe gud-(Am)gudana, (Em)satana (F)yuhi sote hu(G)e.

Gaal pe (Am)tipna, (Em)michna (F)bewajah besa(G)bab

MUKHDA 3

(C)Yaad hai… pipal ke jiske ghane saaye (Dm)the  

(C)Humne… gilahri ke jhoote matar khaye (Dm)the

(Am)Ye barkhat un hasrat (Em)ki hai…  

[ Pehli (F)baaaar mohabbat (G)ki hai...

Aakhri (Dm)baar mohabbat (Am)ki hai ] x2

Ek Ajnabi Haseena Se,Kishore Kumar-Guitar Chords

Ek ajanabii, Haseena se, yun mulakaat, ho gai                      
G           Am          D7             G

phir kya hua, ye naa pucho, kuchh aisii baat, ho gai
G             Am            D7                G          
                                                                      
[ vo achaanak aa gai, yun nazar ke saamane                                       G              Am 
jaise nikal aayaa ghataa se chaand 
A              D                G       ] x2


chehre pe zulfe, bikhri hui thi
G          Am   D7       G       
din me raat ho gai
C      D7      G  

The last two lines can be played in two ways
1:- you can simply strum down once with chords G Am D7 and G in the first line and C D7 and G in the second line

2:-you can tab down the same chords in this manner
G=  G(5-3-1-2)    Am= Am(5-3-1-2)    D7= D7(4-3-1-2)               C=  C(5-3-1-2)




   so you just need to press G chord and hit the strings 5-3-1-2, other chords are also to be played the same way and you are done..
practice hard
All the best
Samip Shah
     

Memories Unleashed

It all started from B/35 Navkar appartment, Ahmedabad, India. Me and father "bas 2 packed bags aur ek hope" jokes apart, reached Ahmedabad Junction hiring auto. With the final destination Mumbai Junction coming near, the pressure was continously increasing.

AHmedabad jN to Nadiad jN--35 km--35 gms of tension

Nadiad jN to Anand jN--20km--80 gms of tension

Even I had not reached Mumbai, people around me told:- "samip, bas ame loko party ni raah joyi che" , so much expectations from me, my god and thinking this I reached Baroda jN..

In between my journey from Anand-Baroda, when the train passed ranoli it was all then it started...suddenly a drop from the top of window travelled with full speed to the bottom and then there were hundreds and thousands of them to follow the first drop....

The tension was building but thanks to the train people they came very often to divert our minds..The rains at baroda was so beautiful that all the things done in the rains were in front of me and I was smiling and suddenly a voice came from behind,"samip visa toh tane malij jase" I was kinda what the f........

Hey Prakash I forgot something to tell you here, When I entered Anand jN I was just having my juice and trying to focus somewhere else, but suddenly I found 2 guys sitting on the bench wandering what to do with their life. One full of emotions, with a specs, with high aims and the other one seemed full of life, but I guess he seemed to be scared of something and I looked at today's date and it was EXAM TIME...and my guess was correct he was scared of exams..
Looking at this scene, the past which was one of the best phase of my life became PRESENT..You won't believe the water drops which was coming from the sky was about to come from my eyes..

The official first day at the college I exactly don't remember the things that took place but, I remember that I hired MEMU train from BARODA and left for ANAND, from there as told by my BIG BROTHER you will need to hire an share auto....there was a lack of confidence in me by thinking of hiring a share auto...BUT as soon as I landed on anand platform and outside the station there was a huge roar of people saying "panch panch rupiya vidyanagar<5 rs to vidyanagar>" and I was kinda surprised at this and guess what I went to the college in the auto and by the time I felt comfortable with it. I am not aware about what actually happened on the first day, but I remember the day when I met an outstanding personality Mr.Prakash Raghupathi.

episode 1
The First Meet

Actually there was a personality development class I guess at around
12'o clock..wherein there was a debate on some topic and two people gained attraction in that debate.Mr.Prakash Raghupathi and Mr.Pratyush Jani..After the debate I found that this person is from BARODA and this was all when the endless friendship started..Commuting partner, partner in crime and I guess in all..The first floor I remember when Rinson Thomas entered and wanting him to spell his name correclty..ha ha ha ha...you know we laughed a lot.........

THE COMMUTING LESSONS, WAY OF LEARNING IN TRAINS, THE FUNN UNLIMITED, and more

coming soon

Samip Shah

Delly Belly Movie Review

DELHI BELLY is a ground-breaking and inventive comic caper targeted for the youth people. People who can't absorb grimy and unabashed language might abhor it. It's for those people who have a strong belly with a stomach of digesting adult comedy with annoying words.

People watched this movie before me requested me to watch the movie in Hinglish to get a good feel out of this cult movie. So, I viewed it in Hinglish but Hindi part of the movie renders you speechless.

Spicy screenplay amalgamated with good acting, a musical chart buster will make the movie winner all the way.

"Sitty Sitty Sitty tera Pyaar chaida" ..
"Jaa Chudail"..
"Tere Siva" a scintillating song from Ram Sampath in the list of "Jaa Chudail" ,"Bhaag DK Bose" "Sitty Sitty Tera Pyaar"..
"Bhaag DK bose" the new youth song for the season, the words "wohoooo" naturally comes from your mouth when the song starts playing in the background..

Imran Khan can be considered to be the weakest from the lot, when it comes to the acting of the three friends Vir Das, Kunal Roy Kapoor and Imran Khan..Shenaz Treasurywala not bad job done..In all a good show by all.

Eventually DELLY BELLY, works out to be must watch movie..

People digested the Hangover-2 easily can absorb DELLY BELLY with super ease..It's just the 'B' words used. The Vijay Raaz factor adds some different attitude towards the plot..Though the plot is no different than usual one but the racy presentation of the camera coupled with good performances and an already muscial chartbuster will keep holding you on the seats..

A formal advice, get your laughing pads on and take your eatables if needed at the start of the movie itself..Coz there is no break in the movie but also if it's there you won't feel like leaving the theatre unless the shit ends!!

In all a must watch go especially for the youths!!!

a 4/5

Samip Shah

Mera Jahan- Taare Zameen Par, Guitar Chords

Em  G

Chhoo Loon Main 

D Am C  G  D

Itna Kareeb

Am  C   G

Chal Padun

D Em  G D

To Kitne Door

Em G

Chhoo Loon Main 

D Am C  G  D                                                            

Itna Kareeb

Am  C   G

Chal Padun

D Em  G D

To Kitne Door

Em    Am                 D              Am

Sapna Ka Buna Sweater Sa Warm

C  D   C  D

Safed Baadalon Ke Paar

C  Em

Mera Jahan

G D Em C D Em

Ooo ooo oo oo oooooo

C D C D C D Em

ohoho ohoho ohooooo 

Em               G D                                                                                                                                                                    

Akela Nahin Main

Am   G  D

Khuli Aankhon Se Neend Mein Chalta 

Am C    G  D

Girta Zyada Kam Sambhalta

Em               G D                                                                                                                                                                    

Akela Nahin Main

Am  G  D

Khuli Aankhon Se Neend Mein Chalta  

Am        C    G      D

Girta Zyada Kam Sambhalta

Em           C           G            D                                                                                                                                                

Phir Bhi Na Koi Shaq Na Subha

Em           C           G            D

Nikalega Phir Se Sooraj Jo Dooba  

Am       C             G        

Hairat Ho Sabko Aisa

D  C  Em

Ajooba Hai Mera Jahan

Liar Liar Pants on Fire- Chillar Party Lyrics

Liar Liar, pants on fire

Liar Liar, pants on fire

Liar Liar, pants on fire

Liar Liar, pants on fire

Liar Liar, pants on fire

Liar Liar, pants on fire

Liar Liar, pants on fire

Liar Liar, pants on fire

You told me that the world is a beautiful place

Thats the biggest lie I was told on my face

So now I wanna go back from where I came

Liar Liar, pants on fire

Liar Liar, pants on fire

You told me that the skies were all blue

You told me that the trees were all green

That’s why you showed me from far away

Liar Liar, pants on fire

Liar Liar, pants on fire

Now I know that it’s not true

I wanna go back from where I came

I’ll scream at the top of my voice

Liar Liar, pants on fire

Liar Liar, pants on fire

Liar Liar, pants on fire

Liar Liar, pants on fire

You told me that your people love people

I found it fake and nothing is real

God knows who’s gonna take this play

Liar Liar, pants on fire

Liar Liar, pants on fire

If this is what we learn in our schools

And only grow up to be bigger fools

Then I don’t wanna play this game

Liar Liar, pants on fire

Liar Liar, pants on fire

Now I know that it’s not true

I wanna go back from where I came

I’ll scream at the top of my voice

I might just have to run before I can even, crawl

Since no one seems to be doing anything, at all

Since no one seems to be doing anything, at all

You lied to me, you are a cheater, that’s what you are

You lied to me, you are a cheater, that’s what you are

You lied to me, you are a cheater, that’s what you are

You lied to me, you are a cheater, that’s what you are

Liar Liar, pants on fire

Liar Liar, pants on fire

Pants on fire

Transformers 3-Dark of the moon Movie Review

Biggest Disappointment of the year and this is not the first of it's kind, so it's one of the disappointment of the year after the PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN-4..

T3 story revolves around another prime called "Sentenial"..Sentenial Prime was known as the einstein of their era when cybertron was lively.Now am not going to reveal the whole story here, but the first half of the movie will give you mixed feelings. In the first half you will find the movie interesting and boring both. Optimus Prime is now a hero after T1 and T2 and people want Optimus Prime in action, But the optimus was always kept away from the main scene for a while and when the decepticons have messed up all the things, there enter Optimus with a bang and clears up all mess in seconds..There is a scene where Optimus and other autobots are to be moved to some place and as soon as they enter the ship and are about to leave a missile from the decepticons bangs the ship of autobots and the decepticons thinking that autobots are no more now decepticons starts destroying earth keeping the base as chicago. Sentenial and Megatron together wants the cybertron on earth and gathers some pillars and tries to attract the cybertron planet..When they are ready to take on the humans there enters Optimus Prime and other autobots and takes care of the decepticons in a flash..The second half of the movie makes you feel like you are really watching a Michael Bay's flick..The scenes are awesome when the soldiers dive with the batman suit and the parachute, it was simply hat's off to michael bay....

Also this is not the only scene , there is another scene where you feel the same thing happening. Sam, his soldier friends and other autobots tries to stop the cybertron entering into the earth by stopping that pillar to attract cybertron and they succeed too..so the cybertron stays still where it is..but there are some humans who want cybertron to be on earth, so they help decepticons and attraction starts again..in the mean while Optimus Prime after almost killing Megatron get's stuck somewhere and autobots are also getting killed one after another, but when it turn of BUMBLEBEE from somewhere OPTIMUS comes and clears all the decepticons in seconds. As expected the battle between "SENTENIAL" and "OPTIMUS" is on a run and from somewhere ROSE enters and tells something to "MEGATRON" and there enters Megatron in the fight between the 'primes' and megatron almost kills Sentenial and Optimus kills Megatron and Finally the injured Sentenial and the Linkin Park's "IRIDISCENT" starts.....

fishhhhhhhhhhhh....

This criticism is coz of the high expectations I had from the Michael Bay and his team..Still there are many things to watch out in the movie, the death of megatron, the action scenes done by BUMBLEBEE, the scenes performed by the batman suited soldiers , the background score, the story...So, the final words from OPTIMUS PRIME:-""TO ALL THE TRANSFORMER LOVERS OUT THERE COME AND WATCH THIS NEW EXTRAVAGANZA OF FRIENDSHIP BETWEEN THE HUMANS AND THE MACHINES ""

Ignoring the criticism all you guys out there , I would still like you to go for the movie..

I request you all to please watch the movie in 3D and if possible in ENGLISH and not dubbed in any regional languages..

a 3 on 5

Samip Shah

Transformers 3-Dark of the moon Movie Review by Shiznit.co.uk

Though I've still not quite recovered from giving Transformers-Revenge of the fallen four stars upon release – both from the kicking I got in the comments and the subsequent shock when I rewatched it in horror on DVD – I am still very much in the broad demographic targeted by Michael Bay and the Transformers franchise: people who like to see shit getting blown up. We are a proud, simple people.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with expecting a film to deliver in the action stakes when in excess over $200 million has been spent on eye-candy, and in that respect, Transformers 3 delivers like a motherfucker. The 3D actually makes Bay's frenzied fight scenes easier to follow, and the Chicago showdown – basically a set-piece copied and pasted from Transformers 1 – is an orgy of explosions, shattering buildings, wanton destruction and Shia going all the wayy.aaaaaahhhhhhhhhh. It's why I'm here.

What I do have a problem with is pretty much everything else. Dark Of The Moon is what happens when you write a script that doesn't matter. In the Transformers machine, the quality of the writing is a very small cog; one which doesn't affect the lumbering, lurching movement of a billion-dollar movie juggernaut. It's entirely superfluous to the movie's existence – it only exists because it has to.

This means we've ended up with a film that is two and a half hours long. There are plot strands that come to nothing; characters who are essentially meaningless; set-pieces that are utterly inconsequential. It's no spoiler to say that, at one point, the Autobots are all considered dead. Then, about three scenes later, they're alive again. Why even bother pretending to kill them off? Oh, right – because you wanted to have a scene in which Shia LaBeouf wears an evil Transformer like a wristwatch. I remember now.

There are literally about a dozen characters who could technically qualify as 'comic relief' if only that wasn't such a gross overstatement. I can only assume John Turturro was wearing an evil Transformer watch, because he displays no recognisable human behaviour. Ken Jeong has a five minute cameo that feels like it was fuelled by energy drinks – I've seen streakers with more restraint. John Malkovich couldn't be reached as he was too busy riding the gravy train. At least Alan Tudyk actually fulfilled his role by, you know, being funny.

Dark Of The Moon is built on a solid foundation – turns out the Moon landing was a cover-up to root through a crashed alien ship – but then Bay spends the next hour trying to knock it down, using the lead weights that are Shia LaBeouf (who was definitely not on cocaine throughout) and love interest Rosie Huntington-Whitely (a talentless pants-horse saddled with dialogue so shitty it's a wonder it doesn't come out of her arse).

LaBeouf's lead Sam is now a kept man, jobless and shacked up with a Victoria's Secret model in her mansion, with only toy robots and a medal from Obama to prove his past heroics. And he's supposed to be the most relatable character. At least he has rich parents to keep him grounded!

With no likeable human characters, Dark Of The Moon becomes a grind until the real robot action starts – and when it does, it's a bloody relief, because at least robots don't have the facial muscles to suck at acting. Thankfully, Michael Bay still directs action very well. It's glossy as fuck, polished to the point of lens flare and insanely detailed. This could be the best-looking action movie ever made – seriously. It's legitimately drop-your-popcorn-and-fumble-awkwardly-in-your-crotch fantastic. Top use of 3D too, I tip my beer-hat to His Bayness. If you like mindless spectacle, this is undoubtedly the frontrunner so far this year.

Regardless, Transformers: Dark Of The Moon is a movie in desperate need of a re-write – and there was no writers' strike to blame this time either. At least an hour could be cut with no repercussions whatsoever. Cut all of Ken Jeong's scenes (and burn them). Forget the shit about the Autobots being exiled. Ditch the tiny RC truck bots (like Skids and Mudflap in miniature) and the professorbot and half of the identikit Decepticons.

There's a far leaner, far slicker, far more enjoyable war movie in here somewhere, but I wouldn't blame you if you're not exactly keen on finding it. As it stands, it's a lame, fence-sitting three stars, but I make no apologies for being shallow and easily pleased.

TheShiznit.co.uk

Senorita-Zindagi Na Milegi Dobaara Guitar Chords

A

quien eres tu?

A

donde has astado?
A Bm

he removido cielo y tierra y no te encontre

Bm
Y llegas hoy

Bm
tan de repente

Bm A

y das sentido a toda mi vida con tu querer

A Bm
na main samjha...na main jaana...jo bhi tum ne mujhse kaha hai Senorita
Bm A

magar phir bhi...na jaane kyun...mujhe sunke accha laga hai Senorita

E
no desvies la Mirada

A
quedate cerca de mi

A E A

mujhko baahon mein tum ghero, samjheen na Senorita
F#m D E
chaahat ke do pal bhi mil paayein
C# F#m

duniya mein yeh bhi kam hai kya
A D E

do pal ko to aao kho jaayein

C# A
bhoolein hum hota ghum hai kya

A D A
Senorita, suno suno, Senorita kehte hain hum kya

A
jamas podre

A
interpretar

A Bm
el sentido de las palabras que me dedicas

Bm

pero el calor

Bm
de tu mirar

A
me hace sentir como la mas bella senorita

A Bm
nigahon ne nigahon se kahi armaanon ki daastaan hai Senorita
Bm A

ke chaahat ki, mohabbat ki saari duniya mein ek hi zubaan hai Senorita
E A
mujhse ab nazar na phero, aao paas tum mere
A E A

mujhko baahon mein tum ghero, samjheen na Senorita

F#m D E
chaahat ke do pal bhi mil paayein
C# F#m

duniya mein yeh bhi kam hai kya
A D E

do pal ko to aao kho jaayein

C# A
bhoolein hum hota ghum hai kya

A D A
Senorita, suno suno, Senorita kehte hain hum kya